trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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