He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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