went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
