For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
