Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
