Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
They have beer where we have blood.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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