all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
