Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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