Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i am craving dick and cupcakes
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
