when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
