I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
someone owes me an orgasm
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The feeling are messing with the penis
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
