I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize