my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
