She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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