Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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