mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
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