hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
