i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
