About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize