Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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