farters have to be the big spoon...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
