New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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