I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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