battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
