I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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