Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
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