Sry I called you an 8
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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