that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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