I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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