Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
