we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
