Already got asked if we're dating
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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