I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
