Tell her she can't have a vagina
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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