i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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