That's intense
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
