i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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