I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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