I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
