Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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