so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
