It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
