Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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