he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You are the jesus of drinking
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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