I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
