Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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