The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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