So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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