census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This baby is an asshole
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
