I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Houston, we have a blender
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
