You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
