Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize