Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize