Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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