Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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