I cockslap morals
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Randomize