I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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