Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
