my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
