i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
