Soap is not a condiment
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize