please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
