Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
