She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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